Throughout my writing I have noticed that in order to transition or to incorporate another subject I either use the word “but” or “which”. To introduce a quote I typically wrote either “states” or “claims”. One sentence which was hard to follow was, “Unless money is donated to charities, or your life is devoted to helping others you will never live a successful life according to Effective Altruists”. I believe this sentence is choppy because in the sentence prior I had started the sentence with, “Nonetheless, according to…”, and in order to avoid repetition I did not want to start this sentence with according to. One way I could have written this sentence differently is, “In the eyes of the Effective Altruists, one would never truly live a successful life unless they consistently donated money to charities, or if they devoted their lives to helping others”.
